Mercury in retrogade. Help!!!

I am a Gemini, ruled by that infinitesimal ribbon world that bakes in its inner orbit and flits by every so often to wreak havoc in my otherwise pedantic life.  It gets worse.  I am also a DOUBLE Gemini, since that is also my rising sign.  So, I am doubly screwed.  Now, I live alone.  But, seeing as I am a Gemini, I am never lonely, since my Gemini twin lives beside me.  She is not evil, my twin.  Rather, she is indecisive and pessimistic.  She is the one that laughs heartily whenever I being a new painting.  "You'll never be able to do that!", she exclaims.  And as I persist, she pouts.  Most of the time I prove her wrong.  Most of the time I get something I can deem worthy, even if it is not my original idea.  And did I mention that my twin is critical?  Oh, it is like living with my mother AND my ex-husband at the same time.  Luckily, I am much bigger than she, and louder, too.  And, luckily, I have some recovery and can soothe that part of me.  She is really only two years old, my twin.  I can keep her happy with a buttered ear of corn or a nice Dvorak symphony.  She will settle right down.  But, if she is unhappy, watch out.  She was uber-unhappy last week, when pretty much every plan we had didn't happen.  And our cell phone locked itself up and Samsung said we were going to have to call Virgin Mobile, which is like hanging yourself, an inch of rope at a time.  (Luckily, when we took the battery out to find the registration number, it unlocked when we put it back in.)  Then the garbage company to which we pay an exorbitant amount  just plain ignored our yard waste bin, necessitating another phone call, mostly spent on hold.  Hassle hassle!  And the program that has been sending me annoying pop-up reminders for six months, that I finally agreed to renew, refused to load.  And when it did load (after turning off the computer and turning it back on again, a guaranteed remedy), it cleaned out all my history in my game file and I had to play for HOURS before I got my Hoyle bucks to buy back my mahjong tile sets and fancy cards.  Both my entities were pretty flummoxed here.  So, being extra careful out there.  One does not mess around with Mercury.